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Category: Inspiration from Students and Families

Melisa and Jairo

*Names are changed in this story to protect the privacy of my students.

On my last day with two fourth graders, they brought some of their artwork to show me as a follow-up to an article we read on the career of art therapists.

As they showed me their art, I told them it was the last time I would see them in 4th grade, that I would miss them, and that I was looking forward to seeing them in 5th grade …

and I brought them each a bag of M&M’s, which they each decided to save instead of eating them right there. (I know, teachers everywhere are thinking, WOAH! Delayed gratification!)

At the end of our lesson, Jairo, my 4th grade boy, asked me if I would give them my phone number so they could call me over the summer. Of course I wrote it down, and they each labeled it with my name.

After copying down the lengthy “Ms. Barton-Veenkant” on his paper, Jairo asked me politely, “Is there anything shorter you would like me to call you?”

(Yes, Jairo, the story of my life is navigating life with a long-a** name.)

“Well, not right now, but in 5th grade I might have a different last name, because I’m getting married this summer.”

Gasps from both of them. 

“You’re getting MARRIED??? Can we COME???”

I explained that we were not going to do a big wedding, but instead something very small, plus a celebration afterward, and that yes, they could come to that. 

“Weddings are expensive,” Melisa commented.

“Yes, they are. That is why we have decided not to do a big wedding.”

“Wait! What if we help you the way you helped Melisa!” Jairo shouted slightly jumping in his seat.

(He was referring to the time I organized a crowdfunding campaign to when her family was in a tough spot. While I didn’t tell him about it, Melisa must have.)

Melisa nodded her head in eager agreement.

I told Jairo that I appreciated the offer, but they didn’t need to do that (i.e. they didn’t need to gather tens of thousands of dollars for their teacher to get married).

“But you have taught us so much! We have to thank you somehow!”

This just absolutely made my entire week. I feel so lucky to have the sweetest students in the whole world!

What made me laugh, though, is that Jairo endlessly insisted on their subsidizing my wedding plans. When I kept responding to his offers with something like, “Thank you, but no thank you,” he finally responded like your adult girlfriend would when you’re rejecting her help while crying on the floor with a tub of ice cream in your lap:

We’re not asking. We’re helping.” 

We each have little moments, little interactions like this one, that reflect our love back to us from our students. Sometimes it is their words, sometimes it is their actions, sometimes it is simply in their growth.

What is a memory of teaching that warms your heart and keeps you in this work?

When You Don’t Know a Word …

“What is this?” I asked, pointing to the clock in the illustration of a pre-k classroom. (It was a kinder English proficiency test, if you’re wondering why I would be doing this.)

“A time” he told me with great confidence.

He couldn’t yet pull out of his brain the word “clock” though he has likely heard it before. However, he knows this round black-and-white object on the wall is used to tell time… so, logically, this item would be called “a time”. What could make more sense?

Now, did I fill in the “correct” bubble on the assessment? No.

But did I, the human, understand? Yes.

Communication achieved.

5-year-old Juan is a teacher for all of us while learning a language. Don’t know the word, but know what it is for? Take a stab at it.

The worst that can happen is … shocker … someone will think “Oh! Not quite it, but … yeah. I get it.” Not too bad, right?

After all, communicating in the real world is not a standardized assessment with a clear right and wrong or a score of any kind. The end goal is to understand and be understood.

So the next time you have the opportunity to engage in Spanish…take the plunge!

I promise … you will be alright.

And when you realize you are drawing a big fat blank on a word … remember Juan and use another related word you do know to get your point across.

Relationship and communication is about so much more than getting the exact precise word.

It is about interacting with each other in the best way possible. It is about overcoming challenges, because when you do, you’re sending the message that the other person is worth the effort!

Laugh and giggle, gesture and stumble over your words, nod emphatically and signal. As you use what you know, and get creative to fill in the rest, not only will you build relationship along the way, but your language will slowly grow to fill in the gaps.

So go out there, my friend! You’ve got this! And always remember … Juan’s got your back.